Sometimes
by AM-AtLoLevad
Summary: Sometimes love isn't enough. Ziva's exit.


_I wanted to say before this that though the theme is that sometimes love isn't enough (which I agree with), being a Christian I believe whole heartedly that God's love and godly love is enough. A love for humanity is enough. It's romantic love that isn't always enough. That being said, come revel in the heart ache with me. _

Sometimes love isn't enough.

"Tony, you are so…" she started the sentence, not knowing where to go.

"Handsome, funny… what?" he quipped softly. She didn't know how he could do that, defuse her like that.

She hesitated for a second, but only a second. She knew what she should say next. She knew that it would bring as much pain as comfort; As much closure as heartache. She pushed back the overwhelming desire to curl up into him and sob until it was over and looked him in the eye. "Loved."

From the look on his face she knew he felt the same, though she had known it before that moment too. He reached up and cupped her cheek, smoothing the hair out of her face. She knew what was going to happen next. This too would be a double-edged sword. He leaned forward and she met him half way. The kiss was gentle and tender, with just a tiny hint of the passion that had long ago grown into something much deeper. It held all the love and bittersweet emotions that coursed between them. It was an "I love you too." It was a goodbye.

"Okay. This is not easy… hardest 180 of my life." He walked away from her and it took all she had to keep her self standing and her whole body shook from sobs she refused to release. He stopped at the top of the stairs, turned, smiled and waved, and with that he was gone. Like a warm summer breeze that blew into DC at the end of the harsh winter, Tony had blown into her life all those years ago. He had provided her sanctuary and light where she had seen none. He had been her rock. He had fought for her, he was still fighting for her as the plane began its bus on the tar mat. Sometimes the best way to love someone is to walk away. He blew in to her life, saving her from the cold ice that was herself, and just like that he blew out again, leaving the bitter sting of the settling winter. She knew that this winter was one that would leave her stronger than the last. Perhaps, one that would relinquish in to perpetual summer. In the end, she knew she needed to be her own summer breeze. You cannot rely on others to change you, you have to change you. In some ways, he had changed her. He had loved her unconditionally; but sometimes… sometimes Love is not enough. If anyone's love would have been, it would have been his. This time, it was just enough to get her started.

_Ok so there are the thoughts running through my head. The ending for these two was heart breaking, but it's an ending that I am so familiar with. I graduated from college in May and all through college I had this really good friend, for whom I had strong feelings for at times. We would get closer and then fizzle out. We took turns liking each other but could never get it together. We would both like each other but be so wrapped up in various life situations that sustaining an emotionally healthy relationship would be like trying to drive a boat with wholes in it. Then we just loved each other, but said nothing because at that point neither of us was sure anymore. I knew though. It was all over him. I was scared. On my graduation day, I was really worried that I wouldn't see him, but he found me (he always did. Sound familiar). It was one of the hardest moments and decisions. He told me he loved me, repeatedly, and kept asking what we were going to do. What I was going to do. I told him I loved him (hardest sentence ever spoken) and that I didn't know. Then I told him I was going to move to an undisclosed other country (which I am at the beginning of next year and he knew I was thinking about it). We knew. We knew before then. He told me he loved me like 3 more times, we hugged and clung to each other as long as possible. When my family came to pull me away, it was like some stupid scene from a movie. He held on to my hand till we couldn't reach anymore and I kept my eyes on him till the crowd engulfed us. I cried all the way back to my apartment. From that day, all I will ever remember is him and the choice we made. I could have stayed, he could have come. That day I learned that love is not always enough. _

_Sorry that was almost as long as the story, it just really, really hit home for me. I had to share. _

_P.S. How much did you love Tony's offer to change with her not to change her and him fighting for her. Loved it… yet heart breaking. _


End file.
